The Clash of the Titans

Western Medicine Versus Not

Photo by Frida Lannerström on Unsplash

“So, tell me…how IS this helping with your cancer?”

When posed, this question gave me a moment of pause. It took me a bit to formulate my answer, but upon reflection, I tried to describe to Dr. Blau how my body was beginning to feel after nearly 5 months of treatment via the natural way.

Simply put, I feel better.

I look better.

I AM better.

I tried to explain how my weekly hydration therapy felt like it was replenishing my body. It felt like I was nourishing my body, helping the overall inflammation and discomfort in my joints. I continued by describing how the once chronic experiences I had with irritation from the chemo infusions, the feeling that all my nerves were being “jacked up” throughout my entire body, was dissipating. With the hydration therapy, my nerves felt tampered. They felt calm.

Yet, the longer I spoke, the more I felt I was losing rather than gaining ground with her.

However, I continued.

While the neuropathy in my legs and feet has not disappeared, they feel better. I no longer have numbness that extends up through my left leg. The feeling of being disconnected from a limb, or a section of my body that is clearly connected to my body, is disturbing. I used to worry about my mobilization and having to get used to using a walker - and not too far off - being confined to a wheel chair. Months prior, these were common thoughts and concerns of mine. I no longer think this way. The fluctuation in the temperatures in the soles of my feet is stabilizing. And, I could say with 100% certainty that my neuropathy was NOT getting worse despite the fact that this is a known accumulative effect of Abraxane, my current chemotherapy.

“In fact,” I firmly stated, “I KNOW it is getting better.”

Dr. Blau remained silent and averted her eyes when I spoke.

Keep me talking long enough, and I will arrive at the conclusion she desired without her having to state it directly herself.

I paused and stated, “You’re right. I suppose I can say that it is not helping with my cancer directly, but it is helping me with the side effects of my treatment.”

It seemed the same to me. Same but different. But I know this naturopathic pursuit of my healthcare needs is huge in my overall feeling of wellness. In addition, I firmly believe it is my responsibility to advocate for the treatment of all of me not just the disease festering inside of me.

It is my belief that the infusions complement each other. Abraxane drenches my body with chemicals designed to kill fast-growing cells, collatoral damage being done to the remaining cells, tissue and organs in my body. After my chemotherapy, the process leaves me feeling brusied and battered. Conversely, the Alpha Lipoic Acid and Myer’s Cocktail infusions pick up where Abraxane leaves off. They rinse and nourish my organs with a wash of vitamins, minerals and amino acids. Like a salve, they reverse the damage incurred from my traditional chemotherapy.

Dr. Blau did not seem interested in the presentation of my anecdotal evidence.

She had moved on from the conversation immediately after asking me the question, “So how IS this treatment helping your cancer?” Her eyes and attention on the screen of her computer rather than directed at me.

After our appointment, this exchange between the two of us repeatedly resurfaced in my mind. Something did not feel quite right. I kept wondering why she asked me this question? Why did I fumble in my response to it? And most bothersome, why did she avert her eyes when I did respond, seemingly as if she was not interested in my answer? Perhaps, she thought, I was beginning to believe my weekly naturopathic infusions were “curing” my cancer or could be used instead of her recommendation?

Maybe?

Certainly, she knew me better than that, but maybe not? I don’t know, but what I do know is she has always pushed back on my requests to supplement my healthcare with alternative approaches.

Always.

High vitamin C infusions? Absolutely not. Waste of time and money.

Turkey tail? Lion’s Mane? Reishi? I have no idea. You can try it. I don’t think it will make any difference.

L-Glutamine? Some of my patients use it. Perhaps it can help.

So when I came to her with the idea of trying an Alpha Lipoic Acid infusion each week for my neuropathy coupled with the Myer’s Cocktail infusion to help with the inflammation in my body, she did not embrace me with enthusiasm nor words of affirmation. Instead, it felt like another eye roll and dismissal, the conversation unworthy of her time. Just another shrug of her shoulders, and another I don’t know. You can try. It probably won’t do anything.

I imagined her hesitation when asked to sign the paperwork allowing me to pursue this therapy for I needed her approval for it be considered a “health” or “medical” need. Without her consent, I could not access the funds sitting in my Health Saving’s Account (upon my retirement, my unused sick leave from my work as a teacher was transferred into a VEBA or HSA) to try something alternative that could naturally make a big difference in how I was feeling.

Irritating.

Why would anyone receive weekly infusions for anything other than health or medical needs? Other than a private conversation with her assuring me that the treatment would have no negative side effects, I felt this decision should be solely mine. Yet, I knew I needed her acknowledgement via a letter and her signature noting that she was in agreement for me to try it, so I could pay for it via this account. My account.

And, it IS expensive.

Ugh. I teetered on a tight rope.

It seemed to be a question of values versus beliefs. What did SHE value, and what did SHE believe? Conversely, what did I value, and what did I believe?

And most importantly, what did WE value, and what did WE believe

for WE are in this TOGETHER (I just happened to have more skin in the game).

I knew I had to try something. The side effects from the chemotherapy felt like my body was slowly breaking down…drip by drip. My stomach felt like a copper bowl that rejected foods by liquifying everything I ate. For days after my chemotherapy, my central nervous system felt amped up with a low-grade buzzing of irritation that permeated my whole body. My joints were stiff and sore impacting both my mobility and my balance. My body was completely exhausted, and I lost days to feeling like Hell as if I had barely drug myself out of an alleyway after being jumped and pummeled by a gang of ne’er-do-wells.

However, although she resisted, I was persistent in my advocation for myself and my body trying to figure out a supplemental plan that would help me feel more like me.

Dr. Blau recommended a naturopath with whom I met.

Baby step - success.

Check.

Dr. Labriola recommended a line of “clean” supplements that I would begin taking daily coupled with infusion therapy that I should do weekly. He indicated the duration of the treatment could take months depending on the current severity of my side effects. Anything I tried should not be pursued loosely. I had to commit to a routine and be steadfast in its pursuit.

After my appointment with him, I knew I wanted to try it. I brought his recommendation back to Dr. Blau and began convincing her it was worthy and one of merit. His recommendation was action oriented and provided me with hope. I reasoned, doing nothing could only mean the side effects from my chemotherapy progressively would get worse. Afterall, that is well-known. Side effects from chemotherapy are accumulative and some conversations circle around them becoming permanent.

And clearly, for me, quitting chemotherapy is not an option.

I felt I needed both.

Rejuvenate Wellness Center is a 45 minute drive south of where I live and since the last week of August, I have been visiting them weekly for my naturopathic infusions. Whereas my chemotherapy is administered through my port, these infusions go through a vein in my arm. Both are slow drips and are medicines that circulate throughout my body. Chemotherapy is FDA approved and therefore covered by insurance. My IV Hydration is not and therefore is not covered by insurance. Chemotherapy is designed to attack and destroy the cancerous cells in my body. The IV Hydration is designed to bolster and nourish the healthy cells in my body. My belief is the two complement each other beautifully.

Simply put, I feel better.

I look better.

I AM better.

Clearly, I need to do a better job communicating with Dr. Blau. I need to assure her that I am not under the belief I no longer need her or the chemotherapy that she is prescribing. I know with full certainty that I do. I do need her, and I do need the more traditional Western medicine treatment she prescribes despite the heavy repercussions that I incur after each infusion.

She is keeping me alive.

No doubt.

Yet,

I know there is far more to my life and how I live it than just keeping me alive.