I wonder too if her love for you is filling her with fear. Fear that is ringing in her head and drowning out your voice. Perhaps she is to close and a step back would be best for you both. You need to feel heard!
Do you have conversations with other patients about their doctor and relationship? This reminds me of sports coaches who are known either as cold managers of his or her players who personify their Xs and Os, or as player-friendly father/mother figures who use inspiration to get the wins. Both types have been either successful or let go for new guidance. Some players don't mind being a cog in the machine while others need the affirmation. Each scenario only works as long as the winning streak. And that's where the similarity ends because you have to be undefeated.
My wife and my favorite football team, the NY Giants, had a long-standing coach who was a disciplinarian. He was successful but not complete. One off-season a few of the team leaders confronted him with his lack of connection to the players, and that perhaps he could humanize himself with a bit of empathy, humor, and even love. There were many, many moving parts to what happened next, but he and the team eventually won the Super Bowl twice, each time beating the unbeatable team New England Patriots, and both players and head coach said his change made a difference.
The better scenarios involve communication and a solid backup plan; you already know this. The battle within shouldn't, and maybe cannot, be won alone. While you alone knows how much you can take and what you can take, it sure would be better to have the knowledge and feeling you're in this together with your doctor. Nothing is 100% knowable or assured, so what does "shorter" mean? You deserve to be a part of a team, and while you may lack the scientific knowledge, you are the player AND general manager AND owner. Talk to others, get a solid backup plan, and talk to your doctor/head coach about how you feel. You don't want to do battle while bitter.
I say all this as a janitor and sports fan. I say this wanting the best team for you.
This is so good. It hits on all the relevant pieces and layers of complications I am working through right now. Not a light decision. I am doing my digging now.
Thanks for reading and commenting Jeff. I always look forward to what you have to share.
I wonder too if her love for you is filling her with fear. Fear that is ringing in her head and drowning out your voice. Perhaps she is to close and a step back would be best for you both. You need to feel heard!
There’s nothing wrong with second opinions.
I think I would do the same if I were you! Have you talked to Donna about your thoughts?
Yes. And I shared this post with her after I published it last night. She has good insight for me.
Do you have conversations with other patients about their doctor and relationship? This reminds me of sports coaches who are known either as cold managers of his or her players who personify their Xs and Os, or as player-friendly father/mother figures who use inspiration to get the wins. Both types have been either successful or let go for new guidance. Some players don't mind being a cog in the machine while others need the affirmation. Each scenario only works as long as the winning streak. And that's where the similarity ends because you have to be undefeated.
My wife and my favorite football team, the NY Giants, had a long-standing coach who was a disciplinarian. He was successful but not complete. One off-season a few of the team leaders confronted him with his lack of connection to the players, and that perhaps he could humanize himself with a bit of empathy, humor, and even love. There were many, many moving parts to what happened next, but he and the team eventually won the Super Bowl twice, each time beating the unbeatable team New England Patriots, and both players and head coach said his change made a difference.
The better scenarios involve communication and a solid backup plan; you already know this. The battle within shouldn't, and maybe cannot, be won alone. While you alone knows how much you can take and what you can take, it sure would be better to have the knowledge and feeling you're in this together with your doctor. Nothing is 100% knowable or assured, so what does "shorter" mean? You deserve to be a part of a team, and while you may lack the scientific knowledge, you are the player AND general manager AND owner. Talk to others, get a solid backup plan, and talk to your doctor/head coach about how you feel. You don't want to do battle while bitter.
I say all this as a janitor and sports fan. I say this wanting the best team for you.
This is so good. It hits on all the relevant pieces and layers of complications I am working through right now. Not a light decision. I am doing my digging now.
Thanks for reading and commenting Jeff. I always look forward to what you have to share.